1. Not living in the moment. Always wishing you were somewhere else, doing something different with other people.
2. Blaming your problems on your past. Although the past affects us, it need not define us. We can choose, decide and act – and take control of our lives. Don’t let the heartache from the past define who you become.
3. Running away from problems. It’s crazy just to bury your head in the sand and act like are fine when you’re dealing with a mess. Face reality, take action and work to turn life round.
4. Being ungrateful. Being thankful sets you free in your heart and mind. It inspires all that’s good - and, also, oils relationships. But an ungrateful person will wear others down. It destroys your spirit, so you feel down and depressed.
5. Being angry and bitter. Refusing to forgive, and bearing grudges against others, will slowly poison your life and your personality. It’s much better to release them and to focus, instead, on living a happy and fulfilling life.
6. Letting your expectations rule your life. Life rarely goes smoothly and according to plan – and people disappoint us and let us down. Accepting this is normal takes some tension out of life.
7. Disrespecting yourself and others. Every single person deserves respect, and every single person is fighting their own battle. So focus on being kind, understanding and forgiving.
8. Neglecting important relationship. A relationship that’s built on unconditional love – where a person accepts us for who and what we are – is truly a gift and is worth fighting for. Don’t take it for granted – recognise that it’s a gift.
9. Loving people who are bad for us. Not every person will build into your life. Be aware of those who who’ll use you, or who want to bring you down, or who want to hurt you, or destroy your confidence.
10. Never taking risks. If you always play it safe, you’ll find you end up going nowhere. You must be ready to take risks - or you will miss so much in life.
"If I called you to love the unlovely, would you?"
Saw this while organising my Tumblr posts. A few years on, my answer is sadly still no.
One thing I constantly struggle is how I want to be nice to people, but I don’t want to be friends with them. I just want to be nice, because it is the right thing to do.
But then I get reminded of the times I was nice to someone and that person immediately thought I wanted to be friends, and I harden my heart.
How does one navigate such a tricky situation? How do you love and accept the unlovely? Especially when they tend to be toxic and I am sensitive to that?
Tagging posts all the way back till 2009…
It is now organised here: http://natisloved.tumblr.com/nattags
And it made me realise how much I have changed - a bit more negative and “ranty”. Thanks to my followers for not unfollowing me, and to those who are have been encouraging me along the way.
Is probably the singularly most unsettling thing to ever exist on the internet
You crave admiration to a point that is often unhealthy, however a strong belief in yourself means that you will often be quite stubborn. Unfortunately, the lack of perceived admiration has left you in a distracted and uncertain state, one in which decision making is avoided for fear of the repercussions.
You possess a strong sense of self-importance or an overdeveloped self regard. You nevertheless have the ability to make emotional connections to others and are capable of achieving satisfaction in a romantic relationship. However, your self-regard has the tendency to limit your emotional depth and to leave you feeling not completely committed or emotionally distanced. You do not easily form strong emotional bonds.
A disappointment has lead you to a state of indecision and a pervasive uncertainty about the possibility of the future improving. Stress is the natural result, and you feel rising levels of uncertainty and anxiety, causing you to avoid situations where you will be forced to make a decision. Often this will express itself in a series of meaningless distractions, whether in the form of entertainment, intoxicants or romance.
WHAT. How the? I’m going to take this again and see if I get the same result…This is insane.
You are lacking in confidence at the moment, most likely due to a sense that you may not achieve your immediate goals, whether professional or romantic. You are currently in a delicate state, having extended yourself into a new realm of experience, one which has not yet proven itself to be successful. A need for calm surroundings in which to strive for success is apparent.
You desire to escape from an unsatisfactory relationship or job situation. In all likelihood, you feel underappreciated and you hope for a change or for a way to improve cooperation. With your hopes for compatibility being frustrated, this relationship is beginning to seem like a burden which is leaving you irritable and impatient.
um… This is kind of scary.
Either an ascetic personality is evident or you feel that you are steeling yourself for the difficulties ahead in life by withdrawing from the pleasures of the world. There is a feeling that hard work and dedication are what’s needed to solve your problems, and this can become a mania if satisfaction is not found in a reasonable time frame.
You desire escape from an unsatisfactory relationship or job situation. In all likelihood, you feel underappreciated and you hope for a change or for a way to improve cooperation. With your hopes for compatibility being frustrated, this relationship is beginning to seem like a burden and leaving you irritable and impatient.
…my personality seems kinda counterintuitive. Which would explain a lot.
You hold resentments that your problems are greater than they need to be. However there is a feeling that you can overcome them with effort. Whether or not this is true, it will tend to leave you feeling less hopeless than others who do not feel a sense of impact upon the world around them. You take pride in being able to change course when problems evolve and there is a distinct sense of personal agency, which can help to address rising anxiety caused by lack of success.
You feel unsatisfied with your professional or romantic relationships. There is a sense that others do not have the same high standards, or that circumstances have put you into a position in which your true value is not appreciated. You want to be loved and admired for talent and skill, and if you do not feel either one, anxiety and frustration will lead to a sense of nervousness. You will often feel that emotional release is weakness and this will be frustrating to the success of your sexual relationships. Often you will confuse restraint with strength.
O my lol.
You feel trapped by life, which is causing distress and anxiety. You are actively seeking a way out of your troubles, but do not yet have a path that you feel confident will help you. You are open to new experiences and are able to connect emotionally with others, and so if you are able to formulate a plan for your future, the outlook is positive that you will find satisfaction.
Stress and difficulty are building up in you at the moment and they are wearing down your considerable reserves of strength. The current situation feels insurmountable and so you are close to changing course and avoiding the situation all together, which is not typical behavior. You desire a trusting and peaceful relationship and are not finding it.
“You are a horrible person. We weren’t even testing for that.”
You are extreemly particular and demanding, especially in regard to a romantic partner. Although you are quite intelligent, there is an overdeveloped or over appreciated sense of discernment which can block the formation of strong emotional bonds. Similarly, you greatly prize independence, and this obsessive need will further stress the bonds of friendship or romance.
You feel that others are not on your side, or that you do not have the backing of important figures in your life. Often the desire for success expresses itself in unwarranted restraint, leading to a limited depth of feeling or sensuality. There is a distinct sense of underappreciation either in the business or personal world. And yet you want intimacy, which you only fear will reveal your weaknesses to others.
You are near your wit’s end and feel that the stresses and troubles of life have left you emotionally and physically exhausted. In all likelihood you simply want a period of rest and emotional relaxation because you feel that too much has been asked of you either in a workplace situation or in a romantic relationship.
You often create your own problems through a compulsion for perfection and individuality. A romantic relationship is often met with a critical discernment and a demanding attitude that can tend to create stress and trauma. Consequently, you will often become involved in a relationship that veers constantly from one extreme to another. Social approval is very important to you and yet you pride yourself in your aesthetic judgement. You will always be seeking for ways to prove your superiority or worth.
You are confident of what needs to be done to solve your problems but are easily derailed and therefore you need constant emotional reassurance. Because you are unusually self directed, you will respond actively to being contradicted, and are easily offended.
You are feeling the stress that results from a sense of being constrained by life. Anger is present, in direct proportion to the degree to which you feel that you are powerless to change the conditions of your problem. You want to find freedom through escape and are actively seeking a path to independence, possibly through destructive behavior.
“uncannily has semblance of me”
I will really skeptical about this, until I read my results…
You feel unmoored and disconnected from the emotional lives of others and because you aren’t truly sure of the cause, this is probably increasing anxiety. A lack of cooperation from those around you can feel oppressive as it builds upon itself, leading to a separation from the bonds of friendship and romance. You are in danger of becoming alienated and alone.
To others you will likely seem introverted and suspicious. Disappointment has lead you to withdraw from the world and to seek solace in yourself. You have a naturally naive and excitable personality that has previously led you astray or has caused problems socially. You are often afraid of your own enthusiasm. A constant fear of being exploited has lead you to a natural cynicism and suspicious attitude.
Did this again two years later and…
“You feel that life’s problems have backed you into a corner, which is causing you stress and anxiety. You are actively seeking a way out of your current problems. And though you have the ability to connect with others both physically and emotionally, any stress in your life can easily derail both, leading you to question yourself and your abilities.
You feel a sharp lack of appreciation from the world around you. There is a rising sense of anger and frustration that your friends or loved ones do not respect you or that they treat you with disdain. Often this will be the result of a hostile workplace. The loneliness that comes with this struggle for admiration will often sap your will or make decision making difficult.”
Thank you for putting up with my horrible singing (and rapping). I know I sing really loudly with my headphones on music at full blast.
Thank you, mother, for thinking that I have a sweet voice, even though we both really know it makes small children cry.
"I didn’t know you wear make up."
"Since when do you wear make up?"
Maybe I took these comments a bit too personally. A colleague was giving away some beauty products, and I took a lipstick and foundation.
A couple remarked that they never knew I wore make up. “Isn’t your skin flawless?”
They weren’t snide comments. But I got defensive. Truth is, they weren’t the problem, I was.
alright you guys have posted some pretty bad jokes on here but not one comes close to this doozy
so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.
the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it’s a valuable resource to have. the first kingdom sends 100 of their finest knights, clad in the best armor and each with their own personal squire. the second kingdom sends 50 of their knights, with fine leather armor and a few dozen squires of their own. the third kingdom sends their one and only knight, an elderly warrior who has long since passed his prime, with his own personal squire.
the night before the big battle, the knights in the first kingdom drink and make merry, partying into the late hours of the night. the knights in the second kingdom aren’t as well off, but have their own supply of grog and also drink late into the night.
in the third camp, the faithful squire gets a rope and slings it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose, and hangs a pot from it. he fills the pot with stew and has a humble dinner with the old knight.
the next morning, the knights in the first two kingdoms are hung over and unable to fight, while the knight in the third kingdom is old and weary, unable to get up. in place of the knights, the squires from all three kingdoms go and fight. the battle lasts long into the night, but by the time the dust settled, only one squire was left standing - the squire from the third kingdom.
and it just goes to show you that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides
I always used to describe my depression as fog, and then I saw this and it makes me happy in a way to know I’m not the only one with the fog in my brain.
I identify with this very much
The teaching that men are to be the “spiritual leaders” of their homes is found nowhere in Scripture, and yet I—along with far too many young evangelical women—spent hours upon hours fretting over this in college, worrying I’d never find a guy who was more knowledgeable about the Bible than I, who was always more emotionally connected to God than I, who was better at leading in the church than I, and who consistently exhibited more faithfulness and wisdom than I. (In fact, under this paradigm, I came to see many of my gifts as liabilities, impediments to settling down with a good “spiritual leader”!)
Well guess what. I never found such a person. I never found a spiritual “leader.” Instead, I found a spiritual companion to travel with me on the journey of faith, for better or worse, in good times and bad, in times of spiritual wealth and in times of spiritual poverty. Dan isn’t expected to always be the strong one while I am always the weak one. Instead, we cheer each other on, help each other up, and challenge each other to do better. Sometimes we walk side by side, moving along at a quick pace. Sometimes we help each other over boulders and fallen trees. Sometimes I’m leading the way; sometimes Dan is. Sometimes I carry him and sometimes he carries me. The journey of faith is far too treacherous and exciting and beautiful to spend it looking at the back of another person’s head. Jesus leads us down the path, and we tackle it together, one step at a time.
"Some women are lost in the fire. Some women are built from it."
Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.