Psalms of Nat

I believe that the act of grace is a touch of love. 

I have this innate ability to mess things up. I’m also anal, obsessively worried and get stressed easily. Add all these things together and I am a walking recipe for disaster. It is a miracle that I am alive today.

For the past few days, I have been in a bit of a pickle. Unsure how to resolve a sticky issue so as to remain status quo. I tried avoiding it and then lying about it. 

Well, the problem clung onto me like a shadow, adding unneeded stress into my already stressed up life. 

And then today, I received a text. And without doing much, my issue was resolved. Not in the most ideal way, but given the mess I had created, it was a relief. 

There, I just felt so loved. So loved because there is always grace for a sinner, grace for a destroyer.

If there was ever a moment where I felt like my hands were turning everything into dung, this was it. Messed up at work, messed up in church, going to mess up other parts of my life soon too? 

But God came and loved me. He met me where I was fallen and gave me a way out. Where pride and self-effort tried to conquer, Grace won. 

It was this grace - a non-judging mercy that made me never want to live my life my way. Of course, God and I know that will never happen in an instant. But each day, I’m slowly making a decision to have less of me and more of God. 

Not that I am no longer an individual, but rather to not obsessively be an adult and fix my life with what little knowledge I have. God is my daddy, and I can just be a kid and chill. 

And it was then when I truly understand that grace is not a license to sin. It makes you unable to sin. How can I when I have experienced such love and acceptance? And this confrontation doesn’t drive me to despair, but rather gives me hope, because I know that I have my Daddy God on my side.

I heard a lot of stories from friends about financial blessings when they were studying overseas. Coming from a middle-income family, studying overseas was a stretch on the family budget and I was only given $550 a month for expenses. Rent and school fees were already paid for.

It is a first world problem, I guess, not being able to go on trips or eat out often. I lived comfortably with that budget. But I wanted financial blessings, more specifically monetary blessings.

God took me on a journey, learning about financial wisdom. I guess instead of giving me a fish, He taught me how to fish. I learnt how to be a good steward of my finances. I was a squirrel by nature, I have a habit of squirrelling away funds for a rainy day. He taught me how to plan and save wisely rather than just save aimlessly.

I went for a financial planning talk today, and I realised that without going for classes, my Daddy God taught me how to manage my finances the way that suits me best. And these wisdom was the same as the wise men of the world with many years of experience. It was a confirmation then that financial wisdom is also a financial blessing.

One tip from the talk was to have separate savings and spendings accounts to help you execute your budget more effectively.

No point having two talk at the same time, you won’t be able to hear what He is saying.